Peace in the Midst of Problems

It was late June 2018 and we were just three days into summer vacationwhen our nine-year-olddaughter was diagnosed with a chronic illness–Type 1 Diabetes. The day I received the phone call from our doctor will forever be impressed on my mind. But even more so was having to relay this news to our daughter who I can still envision laying on the floor in her bedroom saying she would rather die than this be her reality.

Our three other children went to their grandparents while I headed to McMaster with our daughter where she was hospitalized for a few days.

Those few days were filled with tears and questions and blood work – all while trying to support an anxious child through it all. We were given a huge binder and had numerous sessions with various professionals on how to manage her new diagnosis – it was information overload and hard to believe this was going to be her (and our) new reality. This diagnosis meant I was going to have to give multiple needles to our daughter every day.

Anyone that knows me knows I have a weak stomach – I’m the person who has to look away when getting my own blood work and cringe and close my eyes when anything medical comes on TV. And yet here I was going to have to play nurse! God, how do you expect ME to do that? I clearly remember the first needle I gave her–I definitely made a mess of that first one and I think I may have cried slightly more than she did (which I can look back and laugh at now). Thankfully I got lots of practice and have improved, although it’s still a job no parent wants to have to do.

It amazes me how God gives us what we need and with His help we can do things that we never thought possible. Those few days in the hospital while overwhelming and hard also had memorable moments of snuggling in a hospital bed together, watching movies, playing air hockey or riding around on tricycle bikes –including me! In the midst of feeling sorry for my daughter and myself, I was also keenly aware that many other children and families were there dealing with much more grim realities and may never leave the hospital, so I tried to keep that in perspective.

Our daughter was soon discharged and sent home with tons of prescriptions for various medications and supplies. I remember feeling much like I did when we first drove home with each of our kids as newborns–the first car ride home and feeling overwhelmed with the sheer responsibility of this child–it was up to me to keep them alive! Navigating diabetes those early weeks and months was (and still is) hard. Along with managing the physical aspects of it all–there were plenty of emotions and questions to navigate–including why God would allow this to happen.

Many tearful and long conversations were had laying in bed together. We simply had to just be with our daughter in her emotions–we couldn’t ‘fix it,’but our role was to listen and remind her that we were with her through it all–and so was God. During this time,we also struggled to balance her needs with those of our other three kids who also needed our time and attention. On occasion they had their nose out of joint and would comment how ‘lucky’ their sister is! I’m sure we didn’t (nor still) get it all right, but God is gracious. Over the past few years,we have been learning the balance of how to give diabetes the attention it demands–but yet still living life and not making our whole life solely about that.

While this hasn’t been an easy road and one I wish my daughter didn’t have to experience, I can say it has been a time of learning to daily depend on God and trust my daughter to Him. Each night as we tuck her into bed, we pray God would keep her safe through the night. Instead of worry,(on a good day!) I choose to depend on God to keep her safe. We trust that God’s got her as we send her off to school each day–where other adults and a nurse that visits each day look after her needs. We have to depend on God to meet our additional financial needs that come with the reality of a chronic illness.

Through this season, I’ve seen God at work in many ways too. A child with an illness can cause stress on a relationship. I’ve seen Chris and I come together in a unified front to tackle this diagnosis and support our daughter and one another through it. That’s not to say our marriage is perfect–none are, but I am grateful that we have been able to journey through this together, with God’s help.

Despite our daughter’s grief and questioning, I’ve seen her grow spiritually during this time. I’ve watched her pursue a close relationship with Jesus and in the summer of 2019 when she was baptized in the lake of a Christian Family Camp that we attend annually and Chris had the privilege of baptizing her!

This past Christmas at Compass Point during the season of Advent we talked about the theme of peace. Pastor Paul talked about the idea that peace isn’t about the absence of problems, rather it’s the presence of peace in the midst of them–peace not as the world gives but a deep peace that is only possible through God.

This is something that I’ve experienced firsthand. Praying that whatever problem you may be facing right now that you would know that God meets you there, and His peace is available. Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. John 14:27

About Holly

Holly and her family have been attending Compass Point for the past four years. You will often find Holly on a Sunday morning serving in the nursery/toddler ministry. Holly works professionally as a Social Worker serving children and families, specifically in the area of private adoption.

In her spare time, she enjoys walking/hiking, reading, puzzling and playing board games with her family.

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